PS

Remember that cute pic of HER cat as a kitten in my earlier blog. This is her now - not a lot changes...... (apart from the cushion and her size!)

Tinnitus...and Balance

There is one 'sound' that I'd rather not hear. The sound that comes from inside the head - I'm talking about Tinnitus. Don't know about yours, if you have it, but mine ranges from birds twittering - which is tolerable, to a constant whistle - or at its worst it is a turbine generator / constant whine in either or both ears. Each time that I have 'lost' my hearing (in 1990 and April this year) - the Tinnitus has been extra 'loud', so much so that its hard to concentrate on anything during the day eg lipreading, which I am totally dependant on, to keeping me awake at night. The concentration is so bad that I can't even read a book to while the early hours away. Actually, the tinnitus wasn't at all bad yesterday - gentle twittering in my ears (a new way to hear nature?!). The distraction of an adorable 6 week old kitten - not mine, alas, but one brought along by friends of ours, also helped. Here's the kitten - as yet to be named....


No, its not your eyes, the pic is a bit out of focus.

This visit was followed by a delightful evening with those same friends - they do say 'laughter makes the world go round'! We had such fun - I tend only to 'socialise' at home(s) and in small groups since restuarants and public places are just too NOISY for me. Those powerful digital aids that I have just amplify EVERYTHING. I can usually cope within a group of up to 4 well-known people, especially when they understand that I need to know who is talking and for them to face me when doing so. So we had a ball and I went to bed feeling refreshed.

After that though, was one of those nights - awake at 4.45am which actually isn't too bad for me - and unable to get back to my slumbers. It does mean that I eventually get up to do chores, but I'd rather be sleeping. With a wee one to look after I don't always get a nap during the day - I'd rather not in any case and save my sleep for night time. What causes the tinnitus or makes it worse? That I don't know the answer to although I do notice that it can be aggravated after being in a noisy environment. I guess the amplification of all sounds, and not just speech, can get too much for my inner ears. As I say, I do get some extra jobs done about the house...I guess...

I have heard that you can get masking devices that can distract you from 'hearing' the tinnitus, but as you have to hear them I guess that is not an option for me (I have been told this)

The other trouble that I can have is loss of balance - without the drink! I can stagger in either direction or, at its worse, hardly walk at all. Even closing my eyes when lying still doesn't help - I feel like I am going into free-fall.....a horrible feeling! That in itself doesn't stop me sleeping though - I can usually tell myself that my sensation of falling is not real. (luckily I dont usually get bad tinnutus and loss of balance at the same time) My last 'bad spell' was about 2 weeks ago for four hours but as we were near the GP surgery, I went in and was given a prescription for Stugeron. Now, I have to say, that I can be sceptical about medication particularly for balance problems and I am not one for taking tablets, but in this case it does seem to have helped. I am also more aware of the warning signs of an 'attack' - which can come on for apparently no reason at all, or I just haven't identified the cause yet. With this awareness, I slow down (for those who know me, that can be hard for me to do, eh?!) - and it seems to stave off the worst of an attack.

So why I am telling this to the whole wide world - its not a particularly stimulating subject? However, if anyone reading this also has the same problem then they can say "hey, I'm not going mad after all - there ARE sounds in my head"! Also, if anyone knows of any trigger factors or self help tips, maybe they can share them through this Blog? Even though it may not seem so at the time, in my experience, the tinnitus DOES eventually wear off or 'calm down', and the balance/co-ordination returns, but it IS scary the first few times. You just have to have patience - something else I am not particularly renowned for - and the sensations WILL pass - maybe in hours, days or months.

Ah..it looks like its going to be an okay day today - the sun is shining at the mo. Now to tend to the 20 baby plants that I received yesterday - I got them at a bargain price and hope to nurture them enough to make it into the garden!

Brave Girl!

Not me that is, but my neice. Jennie went on 'the 4th plinth' in Trafalger Square in London today. Those who don't know what I am talking about - click here to see. I hadn't even heard about this until Jennie gave it a shot.

You can see Jennie, dressed as a 50s housewife on the top of the plinth in this photo - maybe not the size of a mountain, although I'm sure Jennie felt like it was. For someone who is terrified of heights she did so well - and raised money for a Charity at the same time.



I'm glad it was a dry day for her, even if she was worried about her skirt blowing up in the wind. It must have seemed a long hour but she even looked as though she was enjoying herself throwing handmade felt cupcakes to watchers on the ground - I'm so proud of her! For those who are interested, I can email an archive link.

Day two.

No, I'm not going to start a daily dairy - who wants to know how bad my tinnitus is or if my balance is so off that I can't stand? My main concern is not being able to hear.

Why did I decide to start blogging? It was actually someone from Canada who suggested that I could do this - and I thought why not - then why? Is it something to do on a rainy day - which this is - absolutely chucking it down when it looks like the rest of the county is basking in sunshine - or is it to keep friends in the know about what I am up to without sending individual emails? Then they can decide if they want to look at the blog or not.

I am no writer - I just put things down as I speak. I am not clever with words as my favourite bloggers are - so will people get bored? We shall see. I would be grateful for any comments - if only to know that someone out there is reading!

So what shall I do on this wet day - other than clean up the dead mouse that my daughter's cat has brought in. I deliberately say its not my cat, therefore I am not responsible for its actions - I hate it when she brings in mice and, less frequently thank goodness, birds, but I do manage to save quite a few of them. MY cat, of course, would never do anything like this ....or is it just because she is too old and lazy......

Lets see if I can add some pics - this is HER cat - can you see the killer look in her eyes?


And after the kill.....though - do you see she's sitting on a box of cat food - obviously not as good as the 'real thing'! ('scuse the untidy shelves!)



I much preferred her like this - all of 3 years ago...


This is MY cat...who does no wrong of course (kof!)


And while we're at the picture gallery - I came across this one taken in my garden earlier this year. I WAS glad when the cubs left for good though - they DID try to decimate my garden....not to mention the undesirable rubbish that they brought in from other people's bins....


That's it for now - better get stuck into the ironing :(

Blog one, post one...

Please bear with me - this is my first blog, ever. I just thought I would like to share my Cochlear Implant journey, or indeed my journey through life. I was completed deafened in April after an air flight, and have been off work since. Have been for an assessment for a Cochlear Implant - so fingers crossed all is okay to go ahead! I have been deaf all my life and heavily dependant on lip-reading but what little hearing I had seemed to help. Now I only pick up half of what is being said - so hope its the better half! Its been a long summer though - not being able to pick up what my six year old is saying...tiring too.

Still, the assessment was an eyeopener. It confirmed more or less what I knew, but somehow it was a shock to see the results in black and white. It was reassuring that its no fault of mine that I miss hearing things - when I have only 6% hearing with hearing aids on. I'm an 'above average' lipreader though but even then only scored 54% on the speech recognition test using both lip-reading and hearing. Its good to have these results too - so many people ask 'how much do you hear?' or 'what don't you hear?' (eh? if I can't hear it, how do I know I don't hear it?) - now I have the answers!

This Blog is not all about Cochlear Implants (CIs) though. I'm off work at the mo and missing the patient contact, but keeping myself busy. Painting and decorating on wet days, gardening and sunbathing on dry days (yes, I am a sunworshipper - and yes, I know the risks, and not just being caught half-undressed!). I've even knitted four jumpers too!

I have also just put an offer in, which has been accepted, for a beautiful cottage on the beach - can't wait to move in. The garden will be a new challenge for me as it has been neglected for four years. Let's hope that it all goes through as planned.

I am thinking that this year is going to be one of challenges, but excitement too. I hope that you will share my experiences as time goes on, and I get used to blogging!