A strange sensation!

Well, sensation is maybe the wrong word but it happened when I was in the cinema recently with my wee one and her friend. We were watching the movie "Up" (which was excellent by the way) with subtitles and about half way through the film I wondered how on earth the girls (both 6 years old) could follow the dialogue if they can't fully read? I soon realised what a stupid thought this was as both girls are hearing, and can perfectly follow the soundtrack - it's just not something that I am used to. Its the same when I see people listening to the radio, or talking on the telephone - and it has made me realise how much I rely on the visual cues to speech for interpretation of sounds whilst others take hearing 'only with ears' as the norm. In fact, that was how my mum first realised that I was deaf (all those years ago) when I said at bedtime "switch on the light mum, I can't hear you" - that says it all.

Will I one day be able to hear without seeing? Who knows? Roll on the Cochlear Implant!

It's been a while!

I realise that I have been quiet lately - I just didn't have any real news and life was passing me by. Now it is all happening!

Just last week we met with my Solicitor - and we are buying a house! We had planned to buy a house on the beach last month but that fell through at the last minute (so much for all that planning) - there was a problem with the Title Deeds and a clause in the missives that was unacceptable to us, so we pulled out. However, we've found somewhere bigger, better and good value for money - I guess it was meant to be!! Now here comes the crunch - we move in less than two weeks! I should be packing right now but wanted to share the news first. (plus I've only got 15 minutes before I get my wee girl from school). I will tell you more about this new place in due course.

Even more than that - last Friday I got word of my Cochlear Implant op scheduled for 30th November - 10 days after we move!! I was in two minds to postpone the op but have been persuaded to go ahead. It just seems so soon after the move, and Christmas is not long after....

So there we have it - nerve-wracking but exciting at the same time. At least I won't be bored in the recovery period - I'm sure there will be plenty of boxes still to unpack......

Audiogram

deafdude asked what my audiogram looks like...so here it is! It took a while to get it into chart format as I only had numerical data. (many thanks to a computer geek for his help!). Although I was born deaf, quite a few years ago now, I DID previously have better hearing ..but the best was in around 75-90 dB loss until 1990. This level of loss didn't affect my achievements - I am a qualified Physiotherapist and have been a manager in the past - both of a Physiotherapy Department, and also the Scottish branch of a National Charity. However, I missed my contact with patients so went back to Physio at a lower grade - but with much more job satisfaction (even if no less stressful!)

This latest audiogram shows what my hearing has been like since I took that fateful plane journey in April this year. The red line is my right ear, the blue, my left ear.

I wear two digital hearing aids which help up to a point with my lipreading - my speech recognition with the hearing aids alone is 6%, but with both aids plus lip-reading this goes up to 54% accuracy. (lip-reading alone is 34% accuracy). I am hoping that the Cochlear Implant can improve on this. Even a little more hearing seems to improve my communication ability by a lot.

My brother is excited at the thought of a bionic sister - while someone else thinks its 'cool' to be able to directly plug an iPod 'into my head'!! I know that I will still be deaf as soon as the CI is disconnected but its also nice to get a bit of peace and quiet sometimes......

Some news

Some news - not a lot - but better than nothing. It's been nearly 4 weeks since my Cochlear Implant assessment and I have been waiting to pounce on the postie (for the mail you understand) every day for the past two weeks, to find out if I am even suitable for an implant. Still no news by today, and patience wearing thin, we finally phoned the hospital this afternoon. "Oh yes, she is most likely to be suitable for an Implant and is on the waiting list - we are just waiting to see if the MRI scan is of good enough quality or if a CT scan is also required" So, when were they going to let me know?! At least its good news - and there should be light at the end of the tunnel yet. The waiting list is anything from 12 to a maximum 18 weeks - this year's Christmas present?

Otherwise, we are having an Indian summer here - there is yellow ball in the sky which has been missing for quite a few weeks and now it is even warm up to 20 degrees C. Apparently it had been the wettest August in some areas since records began - I fully believe it. Another sign of Global Warming? At least I have now been able to catch up in the garden and potting up plants ready for the move to our new cottage - not that there has been much happening in that direction either lately. There seems to be a distinct lack of communication from whatever source at the moment - hospitals, solicitors, and our local council (that's another story). It's like trying to get blood from a stone. Not good for someone who likes to be organised weeks in advance - I like to plan ahead, you see. They say that patience is a virtue - it's definitely being tried at the moment.

At least I can sleep tonight - and the postie is safe for the moment......

Caption?

Not a lot has been happening here lately - other than I've been signed off work for another 3 months. I've still to see Occupational Health next week, in relation to work, but hopefully by then I will know if I am suitable for a Cochlear Implant (CI). I know I'm going to be terrified when I get the envelope from the hospital, expected this week sometime - it will be just like getting exam results except that this time I have no control over the outcome.

It has been very wet here, weather wise. The rain does stop from time to time, but then the ground is too wet to work with, and the grass too wet to cut. I'm itching to get my green fingers out there! At least some more baby plants arrived so I was able to get my 'green fix' today by potting them up. I'm mindful that I'm going to have an awful lot of pots to transport when we move house - just as well we recently bought a trailer on ebay!

I came across this picture when going through my albums.

This is Belle when she had her first encounter with a dog that a friend brought over to visit. It looks like she is pretty disgusted with the situation - but I thought it was a good pic for someone to make up a caption - do YOU have any ideas?

PS

Remember that cute pic of HER cat as a kitten in my earlier blog. This is her now - not a lot changes...... (apart from the cushion and her size!)

Tinnitus...and Balance

There is one 'sound' that I'd rather not hear. The sound that comes from inside the head - I'm talking about Tinnitus. Don't know about yours, if you have it, but mine ranges from birds twittering - which is tolerable, to a constant whistle - or at its worst it is a turbine generator / constant whine in either or both ears. Each time that I have 'lost' my hearing (in 1990 and April this year) - the Tinnitus has been extra 'loud', so much so that its hard to concentrate on anything during the day eg lipreading, which I am totally dependant on, to keeping me awake at night. The concentration is so bad that I can't even read a book to while the early hours away. Actually, the tinnitus wasn't at all bad yesterday - gentle twittering in my ears (a new way to hear nature?!). The distraction of an adorable 6 week old kitten - not mine, alas, but one brought along by friends of ours, also helped. Here's the kitten - as yet to be named....


No, its not your eyes, the pic is a bit out of focus.

This visit was followed by a delightful evening with those same friends - they do say 'laughter makes the world go round'! We had such fun - I tend only to 'socialise' at home(s) and in small groups since restuarants and public places are just too NOISY for me. Those powerful digital aids that I have just amplify EVERYTHING. I can usually cope within a group of up to 4 well-known people, especially when they understand that I need to know who is talking and for them to face me when doing so. So we had a ball and I went to bed feeling refreshed.

After that though, was one of those nights - awake at 4.45am which actually isn't too bad for me - and unable to get back to my slumbers. It does mean that I eventually get up to do chores, but I'd rather be sleeping. With a wee one to look after I don't always get a nap during the day - I'd rather not in any case and save my sleep for night time. What causes the tinnitus or makes it worse? That I don't know the answer to although I do notice that it can be aggravated after being in a noisy environment. I guess the amplification of all sounds, and not just speech, can get too much for my inner ears. As I say, I do get some extra jobs done about the house...I guess...

I have heard that you can get masking devices that can distract you from 'hearing' the tinnitus, but as you have to hear them I guess that is not an option for me (I have been told this)

The other trouble that I can have is loss of balance - without the drink! I can stagger in either direction or, at its worse, hardly walk at all. Even closing my eyes when lying still doesn't help - I feel like I am going into free-fall.....a horrible feeling! That in itself doesn't stop me sleeping though - I can usually tell myself that my sensation of falling is not real. (luckily I dont usually get bad tinnutus and loss of balance at the same time) My last 'bad spell' was about 2 weeks ago for four hours but as we were near the GP surgery, I went in and was given a prescription for Stugeron. Now, I have to say, that I can be sceptical about medication particularly for balance problems and I am not one for taking tablets, but in this case it does seem to have helped. I am also more aware of the warning signs of an 'attack' - which can come on for apparently no reason at all, or I just haven't identified the cause yet. With this awareness, I slow down (for those who know me, that can be hard for me to do, eh?!) - and it seems to stave off the worst of an attack.

So why I am telling this to the whole wide world - its not a particularly stimulating subject? However, if anyone reading this also has the same problem then they can say "hey, I'm not going mad after all - there ARE sounds in my head"! Also, if anyone knows of any trigger factors or self help tips, maybe they can share them through this Blog? Even though it may not seem so at the time, in my experience, the tinnitus DOES eventually wear off or 'calm down', and the balance/co-ordination returns, but it IS scary the first few times. You just have to have patience - something else I am not particularly renowned for - and the sensations WILL pass - maybe in hours, days or months.

Ah..it looks like its going to be an okay day today - the sun is shining at the mo. Now to tend to the 20 baby plants that I received yesterday - I got them at a bargain price and hope to nurture them enough to make it into the garden!